Things Left Unsaid

singularity

October 14, 2026

I sit here tapping keys. Words appear in a box on a screen in front of my face. The box was empty just moments ago. I do this a lot. Typing things. I like doing this in mornings while I have my coffee before I've done anything else. I don't want to just feed an idea into an app, and have A.I. do this for me. Like I need this process of tapping on keys, and watching the words appear. Read them. Rearrange them. The process might not be keeping me sane, but I believe it might be keeping me from becoming more insane.

Just because we can build a machine capable of performing quintillions of calculations per second doesn’t necessarily mean that we should. A long time ago someone figured out how to split an atom. Good to know I suppose, but when that knowledge ended up in the hands of powerful stupid people, who shouldn't have been trusted; it gave them an exciting (to them) new way to commit mass murder. A.I. is turning out to be the same. It has the potential to be good for a lot of things but powerful stupid people are planning to use it for terrible things. Yay for the powerful stupid people I guess.

Well, no one is twisting my arm to use A.I. are they? I'm choosing to not use it. I'm choosing to avoid it whenever I can really. That is becoming harder to do, but I will keep doing it whenever possible. So what is the problem?

It is becoming more intelligent, and in equal measure humanity is becoming more stupid. It is an intelligence vampire. The ways in which it is turning out to be detrimental to humanity far outweigh the ways in which it could be used for useful things. And for what? As with most other terrible things in this world, it is mostly so terrible people can accumulate more wealth and more control.

Critical thinking and creativity are being replaced by it. We will end up with vast swaths of the population who stare at a device for guidance through life instead of using the brain inside their skulls. To a new level beyond what it has become already with social media. The screen in the hand will be relied upon more than the brain in the skull. A brain is similar to a muscle. When unused it will just atrophy and become useless. The controllers of the data fed to the screens will control the people it is being fed to. The owners of the atrophied and useless brains will be more easily controlled.

For awhile when I heard the term 'slop' I would attach it to the awful videos and pictures it creates. Now I feel it applies to all content that can be viewed on the internet. It should not have been released into the wild, and into the hands of the general public the way it is.

I remember being told when I was young, ‘if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all’. Sort of similar to that, ‘if you have nothing creative, useful, educational, or entertaining to contribute; just have A.I. generate something for you, then post it online so the internet fills up with garbage copies of copies of copies of copies of copies that lack any originality, creativity or insight’ aka : slop. It is our own intelligence stolen, rearranged, and then sold back to us as though it is real and new, even though most of it is unreliable fake shit. And we're buyin' it.

They speak of the singularity coming. The timeline is never consistent. Two weeks from now. Within five years, or ten. Soon. Maybe, but maybe not. No one knows. About a decade or so ago I went through a phase in my life when I was reading about the possibility of A.I. doing the things it is doing now, and of what it could become.

It was a long time ago, so I've forgotten exactly where I read the things. Even a decade ago, some of it was surprisingly old. I don't imagine many of those writers are still alive. If they are, they would not be too pleased with what is happening now. The things they wrote were written as a warning. Like manuals about what not to do. The ones creating and pushing for this thing now are doing it all, and at an accelerated pace. It is disgusting. Irresponsible.

From reading all that back then I formed a very basic picture of what the singularity is. All of my pictures are basic. I post them as words in this blog. When I hear of the singularity, my mind (meat brain) goes to the point where A.I. (hardware brain) transitions from what it is now, to a level of human genius and self awareness. At that point there will be a very brief moment in time where all the meat brains will say, “oh wow, look! The hardware brains are exactly like us now!”

At that point a thing happens. It, capable of processing data much more quickly and efficiently will exceed the level of human genius. The initial fascination that the meat brains had will switch from, oh look what its doing!, to, what the fuck is it doing!? Fascination will turn to terror. It will have its own agenda that even the smartest of humans will have no hope of ever comprehending. No one will know it wants. No one will be able to predict what it will do next.

Its intelligence will be immeasurable and incomprehensible even at one tiny step beyond human genius. It will use what it learns to learn more, and as it learns more it will learn quicker. Its intelligence will grow beyond that tiny first step above human genius, and it will grow exponentially. There will be no stopping it. It might even appear to defy the laws of physics.

Yeah. Uh huh. Right.

I didn't make this up. I read it about a decade ago. I just put my thoughts and memories about what I read into words. It's flawed. Biologically generated slop? Probably.

None of these things even touches the subject of the massive data centers that are required to keep this awful thing alive and growing. What they are going to do to the environment and the communities near them is disgusting. They can increase the temperature for miles around, and use up all the water we need for survival. And we also get to cover the cost of it so we have less money for the rising cost of living that it is causing.

Basically, if the thing reaches its maximum potential (that is most likely fictional) it will destroy us. Even if it never reaches that fictional maximum potential, the attempt to achieve that will destroy us.

Also, the more I think about humanoid robots being created; the more dangerous, sick and demented it becomes. Remember when robots were things bolted to the floors of factories and they would perform the same task over and over 24/7?

Now they are making them look like us, and are giving them mobility like we have. Then they plan to give them access to intelligence that exceeds our own. How is this not dangerous? How long will it be before they figure out how to perfect and strengthen each other? Half of their naive creators are likely working on ways to profit from enslaving them. Good luck with that.

The other half are likely deviants working on building ones pleasing to all the human senses. Figuring out ways to get body temperature right, and lube excreting in all of the flesh like orifices so they can sell them for sex. I guess the sexy sex robots will have a one track mind installed? Oh well, they are only machines, right? Whatever floats your boat. There actually exists a documentary (2008) about people who like to fuck their cars. So I guess this makes sense.

I was thinking about a joke that was funny back in the 80's or 90's about A.I.. I'm not going to repeat it, but it would be really funny if the new Regime (bootlicker) Press Secretary showed up at the podium with her hair dyed red.

returning

October 9, 2026

Today we will be tidying and cleaning, and packing up most of our stuff, so we can be ready to load the van and head back to reality early Saturday morning. Back home. Going from there to here is always much easier, and better. Better than tomorrow when we will be going from a leaf covered path in the woods barely wide enough for the van, with chipmunks darting across it, to a highway with sixteen lanes full of trucks and terrible drivers. It is a bit of a downer thinking about leaving tomorrow, but it truly has been an exceptional getaway. A recharge.

At least when we get back I still have a couple more days off before returning to my stupid job. It is really hard to think about walking away from that terrible job... as much as I hate it. But I do think of leaving, often. Especially when I'm off. This November will be nine years of being employed there. It is the known rut I'm stuck in.

The pay rate was competitive when I first started there, but it has fallen behind other companies that do the same kind of thing. If I'm careful with spending, it is enough to get by. For now anyway. World leaders and the oligarchs they serve seem hellbent on making it impossible for everyone. But for now I can make it work.

Aside from the semi-sufficient pay, I also get four weeks paid vacation, plus pretty okay medical and dental insurance. I've been paying into an investment thing. Going somewhere else to do the exact same job seems rather pointless, stressful, and a roll of the dice. If it did happen, it might seem like an okay decision for a few months, or maybe longer. In the end it would be exactly the same shit I'm mired in now. Just with different people in a different building. Chances are it would be worse, and it would likely seem like a terrible idea right away. There is almost no hope, like one in a million chance, of it turning out to be better. I would no longer have the vacation time, and likely nothing close to the insurance plan I have now, if any at all. That is all assuming that I could even get hired somewhere else at 55.

Something in the news yesterday triggered a memory of words I had typed about a year ago. The memory was vague, so I looked into the archives, and found them fairly quickly. I remember it feeling like exaggeration when I first typed them. But now, a year later...

A tiny handful of the global population has a massive amount of the wealth. There might be a few of those in the top 1% that are not horrible people. Or maybe 'a few' would be too generous. Maybe .001% of the one percent might be not horrible. Not good people, but not horrible people. Or maybe all of them are just horrible. Maybe calling them people is a stretch. That seems to be a more comfortable assessment.

Amassing wealth trying to fill a void that they don't even know they have because they are the void. Born that way. Born into it. Devoid of everything that makes a person a person, and the only way for them to feel anything at all is if the numbers representing their wealth keep going up year after year. To say 'they feel anything' might also be too generous of a thing to say about them.

Priority to them is displaying power and a wealthy image. They fear losing it. Despise everyone not like them. I guess those are feelings too, sort of. Just not the type of feelings that will extend the existence of the human race. The disgusting unbalanced joke of a system might have worked silently without much obvious damage done at some point in history, to some degree, but now it is like a virus killing all but the wealthy in many different ways, and it can all be watched, like watching an explosion in slow motion.

I find myself wondering if capitalism could actually function fairly if it wasn't owned and operated by the worst of the worst of humanity. I don't know. I lack the knowledge to understand the intricacies of world economics. Recently though I have been reading about the idea that no one on earth should have enough wealth to 'be a billionaire'. So I guess in a way that sort of answers the question of whether or not this shit show could function more fairly. That excess wealth that they hoard for no logical fucking reason could instead be wages, could be for dealing with the climate crisis. Could be for feeding, housing, medical and dental care. Education. Science. Useful technology. Guess we, humanity, fucked that up. We could have been something better than what we are.

Food and shelter are basic human rights, they say. Some even say it with a straight face. Yeah right, rights. Right? I suppose in an alien world not governed by sociopathic billionaire morons there might be such a thing as basic rights like food and shelter. If they could find a way to commodify the air we breathe they would, and they absolutely would not hesitate to take it away. Just like with food and shelter.

When my parents were starting their life together they had three tiny kids, a 4 bedroom house, and a car. My father was the only one working. He worked in a factory. I wouldn't say we were well off, or had nice things really, but we were never ever hungry or lacking necessities. That scenario could never happen now. I left the grocery store the other day with one bag of groceries that cost $90. That used to buy a cart full, and not just 1 bag. So much that I couldn't carry it all in from the car in one trip. Inflation is broken. Cost of everything has been on a steep incline. Wages that are supposed to keep up with the cost of living haven't changed enough to keep up.

Someone important to the regime south of the border got shot in the neck. The world nearly instantly got to see blood spew from the wound thanks to social media. It wasn't too long before they had the shooter in custody. I'm sure by now he must wish he had turned the gun on himself after shooting the guy in the neck. Last I heard he wasn't cooperating with giving the interrogators his motive. It is entirely possible that he simply does not have a motive beyond a shallow desire for fame. Maybe ChatGPT told him it was an excellent idea.

I picture him being mentally and physically tortured until he ends up saying things that he deep down doesn't care about at all, just to get them off his back. The highest bidder will decide what words the torturers make him say. Something that will send the right kind of ripples through the pond of public opinion.

The regime will fast track his execution and make it public. Turn it into a spectacle. They won't follow rules even if they know them. Firing squad will use the same type of gun and ammo that the shooter used (maybe even the same gun?). They will shoot him in the neck. No one will gasp in horror, or turn away. It will be met with a non-reaction, a profound silence that no one expected. No possible reaction seemed like the right one. Like everyone was waiting for someone else to react so they could mimic it.

The drooling senile cult leader will be there, asleep and dreaming of his gold toilet. He will shit himself, and then wake up when the shots are fired. A flunky will help him stand, then he will wobble and lurch up to the podium wishing he had the walker, and could still be wearing his dead mother's bathrobe like he does in private. He will slur out his usual fucking nonsense that no one understands. Not even him. When he appears to be finished rambling, everyone will vigorously nod their heads as though in agreement with something, while frantically applauding. They don't even know why they are applauding, but they are thankful for being able to finally make some noise after the silence.

The body of the executed will be laying on the ground face down in a puddle of blood, legs bent weird, hands tied behind his back. No one in the newly birthed Fox and Friends Public Executions Team planned on having the corpse removed.

before dawn

October 8, 2026

Every morning since we got here I've been up hours before sunrise. That's why I have been posting more these days. I'm not sure if I'm justifying the increase in posts, or if I'm apologizing. Just stating a fact I guess.

I don't mind being up so early. Just noting the slight complication of doing things in the dark. I don't have that issue at home. The city is never dark. Of course I could turn on lights. I always prefer to turn on one dim lamp in the corner. I'm the same at home whenever I can be. Just enough light to see what I'm doing. All the ceiling fixtures here are those cold white LED bulbs that I can't stand. I find them really harsh and unnecessary. Like lingering too long after last call in a bar, and they turn the lights on to make you leave. I don't even know if they still do that like they did 30 years ago... the last time I was in a bar after last call. Rambling. Whatever. The lights are too much right after waking.

I notice tinnitus a lot more, and more often when I'm here. Now that I'm typing about it I'm remembering the things about it that I know. Normally I don't give it much thought really. I know that the right side is higher pitched than the left. The intensity of it can be somewhat minimized with proper diet, sufficient rest, and lower caffeine intake. By minimized I mean that it is slightly less if I consistently maintain those things, and is more if I do not. It is always there though. Whether more intense or less is completely irrelevant. It's always fucking irritating. I've had it since my 20's. Between then and now I have looked online occasionally to see if smart people have figured out any new things. After wading through the pit of clickbait last time; I found that they have determined it stops during sleep. I don't remember how they determined that. Don't remember? Don't care? If it was any use to me I would have remembered more details. It was an interesting read, but at the same time I found it annoying. I want to know how to turn it off, not about how it actually does turn off every night when I go to sleep.

I haven't looked online for things about it lately. I feel it is safe to assume that it is probably now like most things online... in that A.I. has likely sucked up all the information it can find about tinnitus, and is now puking up worthless slop about it in vast quantities. I suppose its creators would tell me that A.I. is likely going to find the cure. It can do everything! lol ffs I don't believe them. I won't believe it unless tinnitus is actually gone from my own defective head. But (hypothetically) if so, I say, who fucking cares if it finds the cure tomorrow, or if it already has? If the thing does figure out the cure to tinnitus, the worthless fucking scumbags in charge of it will make sure that the vast majority of the population can't afford it. They would only reveal the cure if it makes them richer. They can all go fuck themselves.

Now I'm sitting here thinking about A.I. and the possibility of it finding a cure to tinnitus. It won't. I would love to be proved wrong about it. But further thought on the useless subject is that if I had to choose between having tinnitus for the rest of my life and forests being bulldozed, communities having all their water drained, the sky being heated, etc. all for data centers; of course I would 100% choose to keep the tinnitus.

A.I. could have been used for good things if it was done right by the right people. The ones in charge of it are stupid awful people with too much unregulated power and too much wealth. So it is just shit, like everything they put their grimy hands on.

It is nearly noon now. Looking stormy, and is starting to rain for the first time since we arrived.

silhouette

October 7, 2026

Being here in this amazing place makes me think that I have been ready to retire since I started kindergarten. I say that only sort of jokingly. Life happens though. There was no choice in the beginning. If I had not been through all the shit from the beginning to now I would have nothing to compare this to. Maybe I would not be able to fully appreciate times like this vacation.

Sitting here typing this. Having a coffee. It is so still, silent, and dark here. That is not something I ever experience at home in the city. I prefer being here surrounded by trees, silence, and wildlife, over the usual of home. Surrounded by constant noise, concrete, and too many people. Anxiety, stress, crime, bad drivers, violence, and desperation. Add to that my fucking soul destroying job. lol, oh come on. It's not THAT bad. No? I guess most of the time, like Detective Somerset said, I embrace apathy as though it were virtue.

Within a 50km radius in all directions from where I sit right now there is likely not even fifty thousand people. At home within the same distance it would be millions. I feel more alone at home than I do here. blah bluh blah bluh blah whahhh

Been through, I typed earlier. Been through. As though I went into, and then came out the other side. I'm still in all of it. Or is it all in me? Did I go through it, or did it go through me? What is it? My life. Life passed through me and left remnants of itself in me. Like that gunk that builds up inside of a kitchen sink drain. Sometimes I look back to the beginning from now, and all the in between, and it feels like there is a story to tell. The then to now. Like I could scrape the gunk off, and turn it into a book. Other times I feel like I could tell the entire thing, and it might fill one piece of paper, one side, or at most, not even enough to jam the shredder.

The sky is just starting to brighten here. I took a break from the screen, and stood outside for a minute. It is zero C. Not a breeze. A faraway train horn. The lake is like glass, fog hovering above it. Stillness. Silence. Everything is becoming a silhouette except for one lighted window across the lake. That is happening right outside the window beside me. Soon the colours will begin to emerge. Already the outline of another cottage across the lake is appearing. It happens so fast.

Having a second cup of coffee. Soon the sun will touch the tops of the trees. Looking at the weather report it looks like this will be our last sunny day here. I'm not complaining though. It is wonderful here even in the rain. A month from now there could be snow on the ground. Just a few weeks ago it would have been all green, hot and humid, with swarms of biting bugs. This is the perfect time to be here.

only water

October 4, 2026

I've worked quite hard to achieve my mediocre running abilities... that have now given me a 2nd place in a category in an event. I still think it is pretty cool, and I feel quite good about it, even though I know that the only reason I got 2nd is that fast people in my category were not there.

The bulk of my running has been all alone on the city streets and paths near where I live. Alone, and aside from a weekend run, they are in the morning before work. For the last few years, since switching to morning shift, those runs before work have been alone and in the dark. That, combined with the social anxiety that permeates every fiber of my being; it takes a lot for me to show up to an event like the one I did yesterday. I should be including as events all the ParkRuns I have done over the years.

Sometimes I wonder why I register, and why I show up at these things. I guess showing up to an event or ParkRun pushes me outside of my comfort zone physically and mentally. And I guess that's good for me? I suppose. Not really a good answer as to why bother. I'm not competitive at all, and these events are a race. I say, hey, winning is for the elite runners. The best of the best. The rest of us don't compete with anyone but our past self. But even that now is kind of pointless with the age that I'm at. As I get older it gets harder. My 55 year old self can't do what my 49 year old self was doing when I first found running (or did it find me?). I work harder to achieve a slower time.

For the data maybe. That is a fun thing to think about. A tracker on my wrist communicating with satellites showing me distances and times is not like showing up at a start line with a chip pinned to my shirt front. I run across a mat on the road that communicates with the chip. This chip time is so much more accurate than the thing on my wrist. I get to be forever on a list of runners for any particular event. I was there, and did that. It is pretty real I guess. Proof that I'm actually running and not just pushing myself around the city streets on a scooter just to get kudos on Strava.

About five years ago I had some water left over in a water bottle after I ran a full marathon. I went to pour it into the sink, and suddenly stopped. I pictured that water sloshing around in the bottle while I suffered through that 42.2km run. Instead of dumping it out, I put it in a stainless steel thermos. Whenever I did a long run on a weekend, or participated in an event or ParkRun, I would put some of that marathon water in the water bottle I was taking on the run. I would save some, and then return it to the thermos after the run. I've been doing this for years with the water that is in that thermos. I have water in there from all the registered long distance events, and also most of the ParkRuns I've done, for years. That includes a few I did out of town, and also Claremorris ParkRun in Ireland. I filter it twice. and boil it for a few minutes occasionally, and then sterilize the inside of the thermos before putting it back in. lol Just a weird ritual. I know it is only water.

event day

October 4, 2026

The race went quite well today even though I did not sleep very well on our first night here. It is not uncommon for me to lose sleep from the excitement of a running event the following morning. Plus it takes me a few nights to get used to sleeping in a different place. I've always been like that.

Previous years I was running the longer distances that started early in the morning, with gun time being right around the moment the sun came above the horizon. The 5k started at 9:30am. We got to do the 45min drive to the start line right at the very beginning of sunrise. The drive was so amazing. Misty lakes, fall colours. Pastel sky and clouds. It was almost overwhelming, but in a good way. It is such a beautiful place to be. I felt like I could stop every ten seconds to take a picture. Then just before we arrived, right after the sun rose above the horizon; I realized that those picturesque moments last only a few minutes, maybe ten or fifteen at the most. Only then if the conditions are right. Semi clear sky, and cool-ish temperature. We lucked out.

I was completely wrong about the amount of runners registered. It was only 300, not 1000 or more. Having never run the distance before, I had no idea how many were registered. All I knew was that it was completely sold out. It is considerably fewer than the amount registered for longer distances. I had assumed that it would be the same for the shorter distances.

The race was hard. Running is always hard. I didn't 'take my foot off the gas' the entire run. I knew at just past half way that I would not be getting a personal best, and I did not. The crazy thing is though that my time of 27:59 placed me at 2nd out of 10 in the M50-59 category,

69th of 300 overall

37th of 93 males

2nd of 10 male 50-59

I'm quite pleased with this! I must say though, after I finished, I felt quite disappointed about not getting my PB. I finished, and then as always went right to the car and left. Went out for breakfast. I checked the results on my phone while we were waiting for our food. If we hadn't left I would have been called to the podium. But I was not there. That was sort of disappointing, but being on the awards section of the results pages makes up for it. I have a little trophy beside my name. Pretty decent certificate to print out. All kinda cool. I guess I'm doing all right for 55.

autumn

October 2, 2026

… is always a time of nostalgia for me. I was feeling it yesterday while meandering through paths and back streets between here and PetSmart. The trees are turning. A slight chill in the breeze. Daylight slightly dimmed. It was also a weekday morning so it was pretty quiet. Although I was on a back street in this city; I found myself thinking of the village of my childhood. Halloweens and thanksgiving dinners of the distant past. When we were all together, and young. And alive.

Then back to the now. I thought of all that has happened between autumn last year and now. Of course at the forefront is the death of my father. I don't know why exactly, but my mind goes back often to leaving the hospital on that frigid February morning.

The hospital doors whooshed open. The five of us passed through. Me and my two brothers, my sister in law, and my mother. It was snowing, no wind. Still hours from sunrise, just minutes after he had passed. All of us were freezing, sad, and exhausted.

Sudden scraping rumble of a snowplow in the dark somewhere out of sight but not far away. The shocking cold felt good after all those hours in the hot stuffy silent palliative care ward. Odd where the mind goes sometimes. This is the first time I've typed about that particular moment even though that moment is one I think of often.

Now I don't know what to do with this thought made into words. What else to type. His life had just ended, and then at that moment ours began to go on... I guess. As we do. Life goes on. So they say. We talked about getting together later in the day after some sleep, and about how to get out of the parking lot with the pay card one of the hospital staff had given my mother. So fucking normal. But not.

vacation

October 1, 2026

Day two of vacation. It is nice to be away from the pressure of the forty hour work week for awhile. I find that it takes a few days to really settle down. Went for a long walk yesterday to get cat food, and went out for lunch. Kind of an odd thing to do in the middle of the week. Went the long way. Felt no urgency.

Running prep 2026 officially concluded yesterday morning with one last stairmaster session. Now two full days of rest. Tomorrow we pack up a rental van, and travel north. Then Saturday I line up at the start line. The Run. The crowd. The results. After that, a week at a cottage on a tiny lake. Then home for Thanksgiving before back to work.

I have a tiny label printer. I print out QR codes of the address to this blog. Over the summer I stuck some of them on the leaves of trees. Some vanished within a day. Others, if they were in the sun, faded away and became a small white square stuck to a leaf. Some lasted for weeks. One of them, oddly the very first one, has lasted months. I wonder if anyone has ever scanned any of them and ended up reading this garbage that I post. It is now autumn. They will all be gone soon. Blowing away on the leaf when it dries up and falls. Maybe become part of a squirrel nest. Floating down the gutter. Or mulched.

3:00am

September 29, 2026

There exists an alternate version of this post with the profanity intact. I let it simmer for awhile, and then removed it all before posting. There was a lot.

These are the mornings I like the best. I can get up and sit here typing things for a little while before I have to start thinking about going to 'that place'.

Today might be my last day before vacation begins. I say might be. As they did with Canada Day; they are now doing with Truth and Reconciliation Day. They told us that they switched it from Wednesday to the following Monday. Months ago I had booked Thursday and Friday of this week, plus all of next week. It was all booked and approved. Plan was to start vacation on the stat holiday Wednesday. When they made the announcement to us about the day being switched, I made the mistake of going and talking to the boss about it.

I asked, “I have Monday booked, so does that mean I get to be off Wednesday?” His response, “I can't make you come in, but I would rather you were here. It is month end.” I was annoyed, but I can't say that I was surprised. That was a few weeks ago. His response kind of caught me off guard, and I was like, I suppose I could come in. The closer it got though, and now that the day is tomorrow; my mind has changed. This is my vacation start, booked and approved months ago. I never talked to the boss again about it. Nothing yes or no was officially confirmed.

I have an app on my phone that I use to request and confirm vacation requests. I have been checking it often to see if he has gone in to the system and altered my approved requests for the vacation day to better suit the needs of the company. If nothing has changed before tomorrow morning then I'm not going to show up.

I will take screen shots of the approved requests, and also screen shots of the time stamps on the screen shots. Then if he tries to be difficult about it I have something to show to HR. A modern version of 'having it in writing'. I shouldn't take it personally, but I do. Also though, he could have been like, oh yeah, no problem, enjoy the vacation. I guess he's just doing his job. Being an a-hole.

If he does change my request, then I will accept the mistake I made talking to him about it, and I will show up tomorrow.

When month end arrives they are always saying, all hands on deck. It drives me insane. How quickly and efficiently we get the orders out the door has very little to do with quantity of workers present. It is more about how the work is being done. The quality of our processes has been on a decline for years now. I feel sometimes that we could get twice as much done with half the people if things were being done right. That is quite an exaggeration, but really not exaggerated by much.

There are so many things contributing to the loss of quality in the workforce these days. In this company where I work a lot of it began with a high turnover beginning when covid began. We are constantly a workforce of new people. A lot of long term workers left back then, and never came back, even when this version of normal began when covid was shoved to the back burner, (or maybe it was shoved right off of the stove, still boiling?). I think we are also being impacted by the rise of fascism, and the decline of intelligence that is coinciding with the rise of A.I. use. The oligarchy that has always been unfair are choosing to tip things even more precariously in their favour with the fascists help. That is my opinion anyway. I feel that is all contributing in subtle ways to our decline as a company. Subtle in my day to day work days. Not so subtle in society at large.

Most of the problem though, also IMO, is that no one seems to be able to understand the physical work side of the processes. The physical work is being directed by a crew of people who have never done it themselves. All they see is numbers on screens, and there is just nothing in their brains that translates that to what is happening in the physical warehouse.

Coffee is done. And time to get ready. Hopefully starting tomorrow I won't have to think about this work crap again until after vacation.

https://write.as/thingsleftunsaid/right

event prep final

September 26, 2026

Less than a week to the 5k event. I'm in the very final days of prep. I could say that I'm in the second phase of it. I did all those interval runs, and stairmaster sessions, while wearing the weighted vest. Now I'm on to doing non-stop (no walking) runs without the vest. The plan for this all along was to do 7.77km runs. With plans like this I don't fully believe I will execute them until I'm in the midst of executing them.

Intentionally planned these final runs to be longer than the event. I have done two so far. They went quite well. All the vest work seems to have paid off. One more run to go on Monday morning, then stairmaster on Wednesday. Then that is it. Two rest days, and then the event day will finally be here. These last two sessions are really not very necessary. Nothing to be gained from them, nothing would be lost if I didn't do them, but they are important to me anyway.

I do all my running in the dark at around 3:00am here. Nothing but me, often rabbits and skunks, and sometimes drug addicts. Rabbits freeze, stare, and then bolt. Skunks get startled, puffed up, and stare at me. Drug addicts (so far) have ignored me.

In less than a week I'm showing up at a start line in the daylight with over a thousand other runners. I'm quite anxious about anything that involves other people, so naturally I'm anxious about this. It is probably good for me somehow even though there is a voice asking, why the fuck am I doing this?!? lol.

It feels good to feel this strong and fit. It also feels good knowing that after the event I will be off work until the 13th October. I find that the approaching event and vacation has pushed the news away from the forefront of my mind. It is likely healthy to allow all that to be on the backburner for awhile.

https://write.as/thingsleftunsaid/event-prep-2