Things Left Unsaid

What I would like to say to my employer:

This is a suggestion or an observation. Not to be misinterpreted as a criticism of either the warehouse management system or anyone in particular who is using it.

Not long ago I have noticed an anomaly occurring in the system. I have chosen to label it 'an anomaly'. To me it is a strange thing that began to appear on the screen of my RF scanner not long ago, and up until that point, it was never happening. Not only a new thing, but to me it defies predictability, and logical explanation.

A good example of this anomaly would be yesterday when I had to restock a location. There were nine boxes of product that needed to be moved from an upper level stock location in aisle 55, to a lower level order pick location in aisle 14. Instead of the system telling me to bring 9 boxes all at once, it made me repeat the process 3 times, bringing 3 boxes each time. The system suddenly started sending me restock instructions similar to this not long ago, and it is happening more and more frequently.

The quantities vary, as do the locations. One time I had to move 6 boxes 15 times instead of just moving 90 boxes at once. This one in particular the pick up and drop off locations were only 2 aisles away from each other, thankfully. Really though, one transaction of 90 would have been considerably quicker than 15 trips of 6 at a time. What could have been a 15 minute job turned into nearly an hour.

Sometimes all requests of this kind will go to one restock operator, and other times they will be split between 2 or more operators. All of us end up going back and forth between the same pick up and drop off locations. Meaning: more than one operator literally driving around in circles restocking one location multiple times while all the other restock requirements are waiting to be fulfilled. It sometimes results in multiple order pickers just standing around waiting for locations to be restocked.

I call it an anomaly, but sometimes I speculate. Could someone be choosing to make this happen? Could it be due to our efficiency now being tracked, and the numbers are based entirely upon the amount of transactions we perform in an hour? I'm sure that when this anomaly occurs often my transactions in the system are indeed more in quantity. I can assure you though, it is not making me more efficient. Splitting one restock requirement into several transactions might appear like a good idea on the screen of a computer, but in reality it is very detrimental to actual efficiency. It is like the physical work required to complete a transaction is being entirely ignored.

I can only speculate that this might be the reason. Perhaps it truly is a random anomaly that the system is suddenly generating for an unknown reason. If it is being done on purpose to increase the amount of transactions performed, then perhaps this is just a sign of the times. Another symptom of the way that appearances seem to count more than truth these days. In this case, if my speculation is true, then appearing efficient seems paramount to actually being efficient.

What I will actually say:

wtf! This system is fucked, bro!

Generally in my life I feel that I have never resisted progress or change. I think A.I. could have been great, even is great in some ways, but I mostly don't view it as progress. It is progress in a way like using a chainsaw to clean the dust from fine china would be progress. It is not necessary and is destructive.

I sit here typing words into this box on a screen in front of me. It was empty just moments ago, and I started typing. I do this a lot. Typing things. I like doing it in mornings with my coffee before I've done anything else. I don't want to just feed an idea into an app, and have A.I. do this for me. I need this process. I need to tap on keys, and watch the words appear. Read them. Rearrange them. The process might not be keeping me sane, but I believe it might be keeping me from becoming more insane.

Well, no one is twisting my arm to use A.I. are they? I'm choosing to not use it. I'm choosing to avoid it whenever I can really. That is becoming harder to do, but I will keep doing it whenever possible. So what is the problem? The problem is that I believe it is a threat.

It is not just a step backwards. We are all being herded to the edge of a cliff. A.I. and its creators are shoving us all off the edge. It is becoming more intelligent, and in equal measure humanity is becoming more stupid. It is an intelligence vampire. The ways in which it is turning out to be detrimental to humanity far outweigh the ways in which it could be used for useful things. And for what? As with most other terrible things in this world, it is all so terrible people can accumulate more wealth and more control.

Critical thinking and creativity are being replaced by it. It is replacing people in the workforce. People who need jobs. We will end up with vast swaths of the population who stare at a device for guidance through life instead of using the brain inside their skulls. To a new level beyond what it has become already with social media. A brain is similar to a muscle. When unused it will just atrophy and become useless.

For awhile when I heard the term 'slop' I would attach it to the awful videos and pictures it creates. Now I feel it applies to all content that can be viewed on the internet. It should not have been released into the wild, and into the hands of the general public the way it is. It should have been regulated and controlled. I remember being told when I was young, ‘if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.’ Now it is, if you have nothing creative, or useful, or entertaining to contribute; just have A.I. generate something for you, and then post it online so it becomes increasingly difficult to tell the difference between what is true and what is not true.

The more I think about humanoid robots being created; the more sick and demented it becomes. Half are likely working on ways to profit from enslaving them. The other half are likely working on getting lube to excrete in pleasing amounts in all of the orifices so they can sell them for sex. Well, I guess they are only machines though, right? Whatever floats your boat I guess.

They speak of the singularity coming. The timeline is never consistent. Two weeks from now. Within five years, or ten. Soon. Maybe, but maybe not. No one knows. About a decade or so ago I went through a phase in my life when I was reading about the possibility of A.I. doing the things it is doing now. It was a long time ago, so I've forgotten exactly where I read the things. Some of it was surprisingly old. I don't imagine the writers of those things would be too pleased with what is happening now.

After reading those things I formed a very basic picture of what the singularity is. I picture it as when A.I. transitions from Artificial Intelligence to Artificial Super Intelligence. Self awareness. Genius level. Then there will be a very brief moment in time where everyone will say, “oh wow, look at A.I., it's exactly like us now!”

Problem is though, at that point it will very, very quickly exceed the level of human genius, and it will have its own agenda that even the smartest of humans will have no hope of ever comprehending. No one will know it wants. No one will be able to predict what it will do next. We are already at the point where even its creators have admitted that they don't fully understand the things that it does. Its intelligence will be immeasurable and incomprehensible even at one tiny step beyond human genius. It will use what it learns to learn more, and as it learns more it will learn quicker. Its intelligence will grow beyond that tiny first step above human genius, and it will grow exponentially. There will be no stopping it. It might even appear to defy the laws of physics. The creators of this thing are supposedly smart people. If they believe that they can control a super intelligent thing like that, they are indeed very stupid delusional people. I guess there is some level of comfort knowing that for us it will likely be over fairly quick.

None of these things even touches the subject of the massive data centers that are required to keep this awful thing alive and growing. What they are going to do to the environment and the communities near them is disgusting. They can increase the temperature for miles around, and use up all the water we need for survival. I learned recently that they are most likely the reason my electric bill has suddenly increased.

My employer tosses me table scraps while they devour a ten course meal, and then they say they can't afford anything. Especially not decent raises. They act like they are doing me a favour by letting me work for them. Like I should be grateful for getting anything at all in return for it. They slather us with platitudes occasionally, or reward and thank us with a slice of pizza and a pop, but those good gestures are overshadowed by the endless day to day living pay to pay.

When we are out there doing the things we do to earn their billions for them there is always a feeling, an undertone of resentment towards us. The platitudes vanish with the wind. The pizza digests. Our boss gets shit from their boss, then we get shit from them. As they say, shit slides downhill. A feeling that no matter how hard we try it will never be enough. Head down, shut up, and get to work. Don't think about it, and if you do think about it don't ever speak your thoughts out loud. Add to that the underlying current of misery from everyone just like me stuck in the same rut. Sounds so depressing. But seriously, it is not all bad all the time, really it isn't. We do find ways to make the most of it. I actually don't hate my job.

The balance has tipped precariously towards the ultra-wealthy. Profit is paramount. The workers earning it for them are somewhere down the priority list. Maybe in the top ten. Not sure. We are as important to the company as disposable lighters are to smokers. I don't know who to blame. It isn't my boss, or his boss. Likely not even anyone in the building where I work. Not even from the corporation at all. More like a mysterious message being transmitted from somewhere in the void, whispering from the darkness: Keep them scared, angry, intoxicated, medicated, miserable, broke, distracted and exhausted. Blame them for everything. Don't ever pay them more, or let them have time to think.

Corporations and billionaires worldwide are hoarding most of the wealth for no reason other than to accumulate more wealth. Buying things, and power with it. The wealth they are hoarding could make life better for so many. Maybe even enjoyable. They simply just do not care about anything other than hoarding and accumulating more than they did yesterday, and buying more things and more power with it. Insatiable, unnecessary, illogical greed and need to control.

The monthly rent that I pay to a multi-billion dollar corporation is about five times more than it once was. In the same span of time that it grew that much, my hourly wage has only gone up about five bucks.

Landlords get to profit more and more from taking more of my pay, adding to the many things making my life more unaffordable. Their rights are always expanding, and in equal measure my rights as a tenant are disappearing. I currently have an apartment, but the threat of it going away is always there. I rent, so I don't comment on home ownership. I think it is just as unattainable to most people too now.

One hundred dollars used to be enough to fill a grocery cart to the top. It would be two or more trips to the car to bring in all the bags. Now one hundred dollars is two bags. Only one bag if I need things like laundry detergent and coffee at the same time.

I call myself part of the working poor. I suppose I'm lucky that I am able to work. So many in this world are even worse off, with wars and famine, unemployment and homelessness. With the world the way it is right now I feel like it would be very naive of me to rule out any one of those things, or all, for my future self. None of us has any realistic way to fight it. Fight, fight fight. I guess that is who we are as humans.

The few ultra wealthy war mongering greedy manipulative propagandizing fucks running the shit show of humanity could fix it tomorrow. They just choose not to. They are maximum taking with minimal giving. They all want it all. We, the many, are unheard, a herd to be herded, and data to be extracted. Used and abused.

At the end of 2019 I could barely run even a minute to catch a bus. Then at the beginning of October 2021, less than 2 years later, I completed my first marathon. I say that I completed, and not ran my first full (42.2k) marathon. I was doing more walking than running after about 25km, but I did achieve my main goal, and I crossed the finish line (5:17:05).

This post is sort of a condensed version of things that got me from never having run before to completing a marathon.

It all started in late summer of 2019 when I developed a rather significant pain in my hip that turned out to be an inflamed tendon. The pain was radiating down my entire right leg, and was most severe when I was sitting or laying down. Oddly enough, and I suppose luckily, being at work on my feet all day was what provided me relief.

That pain lead me to some rather torturous sessions of physiotherapy. The way the physiotherapist described it to me was that the tendon was inflamed and swollen, and when I was not on my feet and being mobile the tendon was slack, and the inflammation was resting against my hip bone. It was like a bad toothache level of pain. It was so bad that I could not sleep without taking pain medication.

She gave me some exercises and stretches to do. I kind of resented doing those exercises at first, but begrudgingly did them anyway a couple times a day. It evolved into a daily routine that reminded me of an earlier time in my life. Back when I was in my 20's, when I used to have a pretty solid fitness routine.

The pain finally started to ease off. It was a few weeks before it was tolerable enough for me to sleep without medication. It was still there, and I was still going for physio, but I could at least sleep and sit down without being in agony. Not long after, the pain faded away completely.

At around that same time I had worked a half shift of overtime on a Saturday. I was walking to the bus stop on my way home. I saw the bus I needed sitting, waiting to make a left turn before it would arrive at the bus stop. I thought, 'if I run, I can get to the bus stop before the bus.' So I ran. Altogether I think it was about 30 to 40 seconds. I made it to the bus stop just as the bus pulled up.

I got on the bus and sat down. I was sitting there completely out of breath, gasping for air. My heart was pounding so hard. Like it might explode out of my ribcage. I sat there waiting for it to ease off. But it was not easing off at all. I felt panic, which most likely didn't help much. I remember thinking, oh my god, I am going to have some sort of cardiac episode on a transit bus. Then it did ease off, and slowly went back to normal. It was elevated long enough to frighten me.

That pain in my hip, and then that incident on the bus were two major things that motivated me to start taking better care of myself. I kept on doing the physio stretching routine long after I felt like I no longer needed to, and then at the very end of 2019 I started going to the free gym at the building where I live.

2020, a new year, began. I was even in the gym on New Year's Day. Quite motivated to get healthier.

Then in March,

COVID

I thought, well, I wanted to get fit, and now with a deadly virus spreading around the world; getting fit is likely even more important. I wasn't about to give up on it even though everything was mostly pushed to the backburner, and I suddenly had no access to the gym.

The paramount focus of all my activities then was improving my cardio fitness. My original plan for that was to use cardio equipment at the gym. With that taken away from me I decided to give running a try. So, when most people were in a panic, and freaking out about there being no toilet paper to buy, and panic shopping groceries until the shelves were empty, I went out and bought my first pair of running shoes.

Then on the 16th of March 2020, I ran for the very first time in my entire life. It was quite difficult, and felt rather awkward. I felt heavy and clumsy and became out of breath very quickly. I managed 3.84km, and it was more walking than running.

I kept at it though. Kept adding distance. Felt my cardio health improving. Week after week I could run farther than the last without walking. It felt good. I found that I really liked running in many ways, and I was gradually becoming healthier than I had ever been in my entire life. Since that day in March 2020 I have ran more days than not.

Near the end of 2020 I had a thought:

'I'm turning 50 in July of 2021. Wouldn't it be crazy if I ran a marathon in the same year that I turn 50?'

Once I started thinking it, I couldn't stop thinking it. Then sometime between Christmas and the New Year I started searching online for marathons that I could possibly sign up for. I found one, and it was open for registration. The event was October 2021. I registered for it as a Christmas 2020 present to myself. Not only was I registered for an official marathon, it was also going to be my very first live running event ever. And it was the year I turned 50. Insane? Yes. Absolutely totally insane. I showed up though, and I completed the entire 42.2km, and crossed the finish line.

Going by what we humans have learned about the universe so far; it seems impossible that earth could be the only planet with sentient creatures. There must be countless other planets out there in the vastness of space that are similar to earth, all doing their own things with unique strange versions of all we have here. To me there is no doubt.

What I question though is whether any other sentient beings have ever found their way to earth. Like they say. Some believe that aliens have been here for years. I find it difficult to truly believe.

I've been alive for over 50 years, and I have seen nothing with my own eyes that I would consider irrefutable evidence of non-human beings among us. Never seen an unidentifiable flying object. Never seen anyone eat a banana without peeling it, or a turd with big eyes and a long neck that can make kids on bikes levitate. Always grainy photos, shaky videos, and abstract theories. But I do wonder. Wondering is what I do. Like, what if they are here, and have been for who knows how long?

To me that would imply that they are not here with malicious intent. They most likely would have done something by now if they were. So what then? Are they trapped here? Did they crash land? Are they secretly coming and going? Are they studying us?

If they are here just studying us like we are an evolving science project, they must think we are so f'n stupid. Our biggest flaw I would say, one flaw of many, is that our entire society revolves around currency that we all magically and continuously agree has value. A very tiny minority of us hoards most of that currency for no other reason than to have more of it than they had yesterday. With that wealth they manipulate themselves into positions of power. And most of that tiny minority of us hoarding the wealth, and who have all the power, are the absolute worst of the worst of us. Everything they do is centered around feeding the insatiable lust and greed for more wealth and more power. They use it to manipulate and control the vast majority of us, and they do not care at all how much suffering their activities are causing.

And now, especially over the last year or so, the entire corrupt and lopsided system is in a state of chaos from one intellectually stunted convicted felon who has always been a malicious narcissist, and now is also elderly and senile. He should be in a nursing home or prison, but the ultra wealthy used their power, and their hoard of wealth, to purchase him the position as the most powerful world leader.

Everything he says and does is having a negative impact on hundreds of millions of people. He posts ridiculous things on his social media late at night that are like from an insomniac that woke up mid-texting after momentarily dozing into a fever dream. What he texts in those moments causes the price of gas to fluctuate, and get higher and higher, and that causes the cost of everything else to also keep inching higher and higher.

His nonsense has to be taken very seriously though because he has control over one of the most powerful military organizations in the world. He has surrounded himself with bootlicker idiots that could stop him, but they never will. They are just as incompetent, cowardly and self centered as he is, and like him they will stop at nothing to cover their own asses, and will never admit that they were wrong.

I can't imagine an alien being thinking any of this is anything but ridiculous.

When I arrived at the cardiologist place I checked in at the front desk. I was instructed to sit in the waiting area. After a short time, a woman with a long ponytail, wearing a surgical mask, burgundy scrubs, and white comfortable shoes appeared from a doorway. She glanced at a clipboard, and read my name out loud.

I acknowledged with a half wave, got up and followed her through a doorway, then down a corridor. She stood outside of a brightly lit small room, and motioned for me to enter first. She followed me in and closed the door.

Wall shelves with supplies. A poster about the importance of heart health. Standard examination table with a step beside it on the floor. Two office chairs. An EKG monitor on a small wheeled stand. A computer in the corner.

She instructed me to hang up my coat, and that I could leave my backpack in one of the chairs, and to take off my shirt. I did those things behind her while she was at the computer typing and clicking things on the screen.

I stood there behind her while she did the things at the computer. It wasn't a very long time. Like 20 or 30 seconds. It was (apparently) long enough for me to have the thought, did she really tell me to take off my shirt? I had an urge to ask her, “did you really want me to take off my shirt?” It seemed like too weird of a question, so I didn’t ask it.

The entire scene repeated in my mind. From the moment of me walking in the room until me just standing there behind her. Shirtless. In the new imagined version she only told me to hang up my jacket and put my backpack in the chair. Maybe I misunderstood what she said next, and it only sounded like, “take off your shirt”. Or she didn't even say anything remotely like that at all. I imagined that I had just walked in, took off my jacket, put my backpack in the chair, and then I took off my shirt for no reason. I was suddenly afraid of what would happen when she turned around.

Like, dude, wtf, why is your shirt off? Face palm. Or she would run from the room vomit exploding spontaneously into her mask and all over her arm when she tried to get the mask off in time. Or start laughing until she cried. Maybe a couple security guys would mysteriously show up and wrestle me to the floor while she stood there slowly shaking her head with her arms crossed.

She turned around. Nothing weird happened.

After a series of questions and an EKG test, I met with the cardiologist. He said everything is fine.

Iran should not have a nuclear weapon. Okay. Sounds good. Why not though? The answer is stunningly hypocritical. I can think of a few current world leaders who shouldn’t even be trusted with dollar store water guns, but they have access to nuclear weapons, and are a threat to the world.

How is vaporizing innocent human beings, and setting the sky on fire going to solve anything? Why is this an option? Maybe it is time that we grow up as a (so called intelligent) species and collectively decide that no country in the world should have any nuclear weapons. Maybe it is time for the leaders of the world to start acting like real leaders and agree to disarm and scrap their entire nuclear arsenals. If anyone has a problem with the plan, then maybe they should all pack their shit, and board the next shuttle to go live on one of the other planets that is suitable for human life. Oh, wait! That is right! This is the only planet we have. You would think that we would have sorted our differences out by now.

We could also stop giving all the power to stupid greedy psychopaths who have no desire to choose diplomacy over bullying, threats, greed, isolation, violence and wealth hoarding. The ones who don't want to accept that there is no turning back from globalization. The ones who have no desire at all to meet anyone half way on anything. To them it is always my way all the way, all the time, or go fuck yourself. They seem to exist solely to support a system that is failing to provide the basic necessities of life for far too many, and leaves too many on the edge. All so that they, and a few of their rich buddies can have more than everyone else.

They are like toddler siblings in the backseat of mom and dad's car fighting over nonsensical things. Difference being that little kids don't just kill each other. Mom yells at them from the front seat. Then they sort it out and find a way to coexist. Toddlers have a better understanding of using diplomacy than the leaders of the “most powerful” nations.

I am finding at 50+ that fitness is more of a necessity than what it used to be. When I was younger, and into fitness, it was more so I could look better. Getting healthier and feeling better was sort of a side effect. Now that I'm older it has turned around. I am doing it to be healthier and feel better, and a side effect is that my body has changed.

In my experience I find that consistency is the most important thing with all fitness activities. It's sort of like learning a new skill. You have to keep at it to let it develop and become part of your life. It isn't just about the physical activity or eating better (although those things are very important). There is also the mental side that is just as important as doing the things. You have to get your mind used to finding the time to make it part of your life.

With all fitness things it is good to start off slow and easy. It isn't terribly important how much you do at first, as long as it keeps repeating. Plan it, commit to doing it, do it. It gives you an idea of how much you can handle, and gets your mind used to doing it.

If it's too easy, add a little more to the next until it is harder. If it is too much, don't push too hard. Always try not to do too much too soon. Injury is very discouraging. Find the balance between too easy and too much. Be committed to your routine, but at the same time also don't be too rigid about it. A missed day is history when the next day begins. Forget about it and move on. Never stop educating yourself about fitness, and never be afraid to try new things. Let the routine evolve as you learn more through education and experience.

If you keep at it, and keep adding a little more, you will inevitably start to feel better. I would never say that it is easy, but it does get easier, and more enjoyable.

There will be times when it seems that all the effort is for nothing. Especially in the beginning. You have to get your mind around not seeing or feeling the results from your efforts for a time. I read a term awhile ago that stuck with me. It was: Have Faith In The Process. Don't get discouraged by the lack of results in the beginning.

I find it very useful to track everything you do. It doesn't need to be complicated. It can be a tracker on your wrist, an app, or a notebook and a pen. Even if you are only recording time, date, what you did, and how much you did. It is important to have something to look back on and say, wow, I remember when THAT was all I could manage. The only person you should ever compare yourself to or compete with is your past self.

This is just locker room talk. Just me being me, you know. No big deal. Dedicated to nothing and no one. Toppled off the edge of sanity. Plunging headfirst into the abyss of absurdity.

Hardy har, the department of kidnapping, murder and lies. While hundreds of millions of people could barely afford food, they were spending over twenty million dollars on steak and lobster, some of which they were no doubt stuffing into their own stupid filthy lying pie-holes. I envision it being their primary diet. Over twenty million spent just in the month of September. I don't imagine the portions that were sent to the troops were top quality like they had for themselves. It is disgusting on so many levels.

The dining room where they gathered for the feast glowed a dim strange yellow, like being trapped in a stain, from dusty chandeliers reflecting off of all the unnecessary gaudy fake gold ornamentation. It is impossible to describe a spectacle like it without using too many adjectives. The drunkard, seated to the right hand of the old man, stopped using a fork a long time ago. His shiny oily fingers dunked a piece of lobster into a bowl of melted butter while he slurred, “can I, can I have a war, can I please, oh glorious leader”.

Perhaps they have descended far below and beyond being a regime, and are now a kind of new political thing that does not yet have a name? A gang of idiotic unqualified goons in positions of power who lack the knowledge to maintain anything. Pouring every ounce of time, energy, and hundreds of billions of dollars into maintaining appearances, and doing it very poorly.

Is it even politics anymore when it feels like a lawless dystopian game? If they don't murder every human on the planet, their lame attempt to govern will be studied for decades. I mean, if humans have a future, and if study and learning ever become 'a thing' people do again.

The old man at the head of the table, who appeared to be dozing, but was paying attention, says, “of course you can have your war, sweety. We don't even need permission.” A look on his face like he needed to fart, but decided that it wasn't worth the risk. His shaking discoloured hands opened the lid of a fast food box that was on a silver platter on the table just beyond his bulging belly. He expertly gripped the burger inside, then raised it to his gaping stinking dumpster of a lying mouth hole, and shoved nearly half of it in. When he bit down, a gob of the pale pinkish orange sauce with bits of onion and lettuce in it squished out near his thumb, and sort of slid and rolled down, and then fell from his sagging chin. While chewing, he looked and sounded as though he might suffocate from having to breathe through his nose for a few seconds. While chewing and swallowing he stared at the uneaten portion of burger in his hands. He considered another bite, then decided not. As he placed it back in its box he appeared momentarily confused that there were two burgers in boxes already on the silver platter. And then there were three. Each burger had one bite gone. One had a fly darting around between the sesame seeds on the top bun. He couldn't remember biting the two other burgers, who brought them, or when. Then tiredness. His eyes drooped closed and his head nodded forward.

I guess murder is legal if you use bombs and call it war? The murders they commit are like what they say about cockroaches I'm sure. Similar in a way that if we see the resulting deaths from a few bombs, then there are sure to be thousands that we don't see.

The dining room was too hot, and smelled like cold congealed grease on meat, carnivorous body odor mixed with fading cologne, and gas being excreted from both ends of those seated at the table. Most of them were drunk on expensive bourbon and didn't notice the smell. Someone lit a cigar to try and mask it. It only added to the grotesquery. The ones not drunk on liquor were drunk on power. Some couldn't remember their job titles, or who resigned or got fired before they were handed the job. They found it funny to be part of something that they used to make podcasts and news about. All of them lacked the intelligence and introspection to view themselves as taking part in the creation of lies instead of merely propagandizing about them.

The old man abruptly woke from dozing. It startled those seated close to him when he loudly started blathering on about how the new leaders (who are replacing the ones he illegally eliminated) need to be peaceful and democratic. None of them realized, let alone acknowledged, that peace and democracy are being destroyed in the country they are supposedly leading. The power and the money, amen.