Things Left Unsaid

I'm sorry I abandoned you babe. It's going be different this time. I promise. I used to be mayor of Mississauga. One day I decided that I wanted to be premier of Ontario instead so I just stopped going into city hall. Like, whatever, right. Who needs a mayor? I failed so badly at provincial politics that the only way I knew what was going on at their meetings was from bootleg recording devices. I have nothing better to do right now, so I decided to try and get my silly old job as mayor back. I just need something to do while I sort out what I really want to do. I believe that everyone who isn't me has the IQ of sloths and the attention span of fruit flies, so it shouldn't be too difficult. Me and my people will get A.I. to figure out what people want. Then we can use that information to fabricate half truths about my opponents, and lofty goals, so I have things to say at my loyalist gatherings and press conferences. I'll ride the Liberal wave that is sweeping the nation right back into my old office. I'll be a celebrity!