Things Left Unsaid

I held a piece of fresh bread near Usain Bolt. Nothing happened. I put that same piece of bread into a toaster, and then turned the toaster on. A few minutes later it popped up, and the bread was toast! That appliance is better at making toast than Usain Bolt. It is not very headline worthy.

I keep seeing headlines about other appliances doing things that are being compared to human athletic achievements (and not just the story about the thing running faster than Usain Bolt). A lot of the stories are in the Sports section. Why the fuck would they do that? What they do has absolutely nothing to do with sport or athleticism. It is just promoting the anthropomorphizing of things.

The stories should instead be in Popular Mechanics. Like, hey, check this shit out, they wasted a decade building a thing that looks like a person running! What a waste of engineering talent, time, education, energy, and resources. All to build a thing that is really not good for anything.

They also need to stop allowing those useless things to be in human running events. It's just a matter of time before one malfunctions and hurts an athlete or spectator, or gets in the way of an actual athlete breaking a real world record or getting a personal best.