a work day

September 2, 2026

My coffee mug gets empty too fast. I don't have enough time to just sit here and type this garbage.

I pack my lunch, and walk to work. I show up on time, and punch the clock. I say, good morning to some, before work begins. Sometimes we chat, and sometimes not. Work begins.

Safety is paramount above all things. I work hard, and I work efficiently. My work is accurate. I help out when asked by my coworkers. I stay calm. I get along. I don't yell. I don't blame, or snitch. I clean as I go. The machine I operate weighs about 4500kg, and can lift pallets down from 8 meters high. It is a lot of responsibility, and requires skill. The task that is assigned to me is dirty, and intense, and has a lot of (at times heavy) lifting involved.

None of that counts for anything.

My worth as an employee is mostly based upon the transactions that go from the scanner on my machine, to the screen on the laptop that my boss stares at all day. Also somewhat whether or not I measure up to the standards of his nepotism (and I mostly don't measure up). A lot of the work I do does not show up on the screen as a transaction. I've pointed that out many times to him, but he a) doesn't like me, and b) I suspect he is going senile.

My worth to my coworkers is mostly based upon whether or not they have to wait for me to deliver the products that they need to assemble orders, and whether or not I'm close by when they need assistance. If I'm on time, and there when they need me; they like me. If I'm not they turn on me in an instant, and won't hesitate to, as they say, 'throw me under the bus'. They expect me to stop 100% of the time, but then also expect me to deliver the products to location on time. They can't see how fucking stupid that is. If I'm doing the one thing, I'm not doing the other. I can't do more than one thing at a time.

It is a toxic and hostile workplace. Sometimes it gets to me, and sometimes it does not. It depends on how well I can drift below the radar. The pay rate when I started there over nine years ago was not too bad, but now it is really not competitive (on top of the sleazy oligarchs vacuuming up the wealth from all things). I know the pay is no longer competitive from looking at job ads.

I think of leaving sometimes. If I left though, I would not get benefits or vacation time for awhile. Possibly never if I ended up being a temp again. The other thing that deters me from leaving is that I would most likely end up doing the same stupid shit anyway. Only it would be in a different building with different people. It could even end up being a more toxic workplace.

I'm out of time. The coffee ran out awhile ago. I have to get ready to go there. I've been doing variations of this more days than not for over 37 years of my life.

It is no wonder I'm so tired.

Long weekend coming.

Less than 30 days to vacation time.