One portion of the street I walk is high enough and unobstructed enough to see part of the Toronto skyline. On a clear day for a few minutes I can see the CN Tower way off in the distance.

Beside it now is the tallest building in Canada standing there like a middle finger to everyone who can't afford a place to live, and to all of us who can barely afford groceries. Just what we need, right, another 106 stories of housing that is unaffordable to the majority of the population.

I can also see the Absolute World towers downtown Mississauga. The ones that earned the nickname Marylin Monroe towers. More tall buildings have rose up in the area, making the negative space between the Marylin towers look like a huge hand with its index finger pointing down to the ground. There has to be something symbolic about that. We're going down, man.

One morning as the sun was rising I thought, the end of the world sure makes for pretty sunrises. Is that smog wafting northward from our deregulated neighbour (are they great again yet?). We are not innocent when it comes to environmental protection either. Better maybe, but better does not mean good when compared to the worst. Maybe that is smoke from wildfires, and not smog. Maybe both.

How many PPM's does the crap in the air have to be to make the news? I don't know. It doesn't count until you can taste it. Until you can smell it. Until your eyes are red and watering. Until that tickling in the back of your throat makes you cough. I could see the haze. It was fucking wonderful. It made the light sort of eerie, pastel, apocalyptic, with the sun just moments from rising above the horizon. I felt strange. Like a dream.

After having my free donut at break, and then going back to work, I found myself thinking about some experiences I've had with food and past workplaces.

Some years ago I used to work overtime at my current place of employment. One Saturday shift the boss had brought us donuts. At break time I saw the box sitting on a table near the punch clock. There were three left in the box. I thought, I will punch for break, and then get one. In the time it took me to turn around and punch my card, a coworker had showed up, and he had the last three donuts stacked up on a napkin in his hand.

I briefly gave him the benefit of the doubt, and wondered if maybe he was bringing a donut for other people he was sitting with or something. But no, I watched him sit down at a table by himself, and eat all three of them. I didn't say anything even though I really should have. Whenever I saw him after that I would think about those damn donuts. Sometimes he would need my assistance on the job, and would ask for my help. I would help him, but I certainly didn't put in my best effort. Forever destined to be the guy who stole my donut. So inconsiderate.

Another place I worked, suddenly news would start circulating. Samosa party at lunch time! The first time I heard it after starting my employment there, I was like, wtf is a samosa? I quickly learned. Those tasty little triangles of amazingness. I really like them. I would also get excited about the samosa parties when they happened.

After working there for awhile though I started to see a darker side of the samosa parties. Bringing them was a weird unspoken requirement, like some kind of social status symbol. A way to fit in. If you want to have some, then expect at some point to be the provider of them. And, oh man, the gossip and fighting about the leftovers. The whole thing just became tainted and weird to me. I eventually ended up avoiding them altogether. I would focus on reading a book while eating my own lunch. Let them have their weird fights about samosas. Not having any? No, thank you.

Funny now when I think about that place. The crew there was like that with pretty much everything. They would turn the simplest of things into a stressful ordeal. It was the most toxic workplace I ever worked in. I believe there is a line between authority and just simply being a power tripping asshole. The bosses there were the latter more often than not. The workers were divided into gangs constantly using psychological conflict and gossip as weapons against the others. I was never accepted into any of the gangs. And it wasn’t for their lack of trying to recruit me. I lasted there for two years. I had a mental breakdown and quit. I looked the place up a few years after I quit, and it was gone. Good riddance, I thought. And THAT is a very brief summary of an awful time in my life.

I had another job right before that awful one, as a temp. It was a pretty small place. The agency didn't tell me very much about it before I went there. I went in on my first day thinking that it was a factory, but it turned out to be a very small distribution warehouse. I remember the silence there. How strange it was after working only in factories before that. The crew there was five guys, and then me, plus bosses and owners. I thought, this is so weird, and also, there shouldn't be too much conflict here with such a small crew. I wasn't even through day one before I realized how wrong I was about there being no conflict. Before the end of the day all of them had taken their turn talking shit about the rest of the crew to me.

There came a day when one of them asked me if I would like a coffee and donut. One of the guys was going out in the company van to get Timmies. Right away I was like, no thank you. I made up the excuse that I had coffee before work. That was actually true, but it was not the reason I turned down the offer. Honestly I wouldn't have minded another coffee and a donut. In hindsight I realized that my no thank you, and the excuse I generated, were really more knee jerk reaction than conscious decision.

At that point in my life I had already been working for over twenty years. I instantly and instinctively knew that the coffee outings would inevitably turn into a thing. And I was right. Within a few weeks they started taking turns going out. Then there was the day when it was someone's turn and they didn't want to go. Then another day someone went with someone else's money, and bought extra food for themselves with it instead of bringing back the right amount of change. It became another thing for them to gossip and fight about. I was quite glad to not be part of it other than hearing the different versions of the outrage.

Watch out cupcake. Buckle up buttercup. You might have to suddenly feel something.

What the hell? What next? Watch out, the jump scare part is coming in 10-9-8-7... lol. In the next scene someone is not wearing a shirt. I guess for me all the warnings should have a warning. Proceed carefully, this contains a warning that some might find annoying and pointless.

Recently I saw a warning at the start of an article about the sentencing of an old rich white deviant. It said that the story contained details about sexual assault. Well, yeah, frankly, I assumed so by seeing his name in the headline. He's an old rich white deviant. One of many.

The warning should have been, this article might bring you joy in knowing that a piece of human garbage gets to live out the remaining days of its life with the knowledge that everyone now knows what many suspected all along. That he is indeed a terrible human being who did terrible things.

His tiny defective brain couldn't deal with the excessive amounts of wealth and power that his failure of a company gave him. It turned him into a monster. He likely would have been an awful person even without wealth and power, but the wealth and power gave him the illusion that he could just do whatever he wanted to anyone whenever he wanted to do it. These things should have ruined him and sent him to jail decades ago.

His narcissism will likely not allow him to truly believe he did anything wrong. He can likely still sleep at night. He most likely won't ever view his victims as victims. Sorry and guilt are not installed in his software. Will never truly understand the ramifications of his actions. The false narrative that he clings to will end when he does.

He will not likely ever go to jail, but at least he will live out the rest of his miserable life with the thought clinking around inside of his empty can of a skull that people think he is a horrible person who did horrible things. I don't know if that is justice, but I guess it is better than nothing? As close as we can get to justice with disgusting people like him.

Maybe if there is ever a justice system south of the border again some of the monsters in the Epstein files will have a similar fate.

Now near 55. I will qualify for some senior discounts. Only 10 years from retirement age. Not that I will be retiring likely, but retirement age I will be. I wouldn't say that I feel one way or another about it. No feeling as though it snuck up on me like 45 did. How I perceive the passage of time is much different. Like when I was 20 I was not thinking, wtf I'm almost 30. Now at 55 though I am thinking, wtf I'm almost 65. Events that happened 10 years ago can seem so recent, and then I can’t help thinking, in that same amount of time I'll be 65.

At 55 I don't understand young adults. Today I think that means anyone under 30. Ten years from now that might mean anyone under 40. I don't know. They are like aliens from another planet. I am not keeping up with technology advancements. I'm an alien visiting, watching a strange species do weird shit that I don't understand.

Over the hump day of my life. If my life was a week I would be near Friday by now or something. If I'm lucky I'll see Saturday Sunday.

Or like my own doomsday clock approaching midnight. I haven't looked at that in awhile...

internet tells me we're at 85 seconds to midnight. Closer to midnight than it has been since they invented the idea. That's no surprise. Most of the ones in power are a threat to humanity, and are allowing the planet to become uninhabitable. I think some are doing the right things, but it sadly seems too few too late. Going by what the news says, the race is still close. Common sense is still being crushed like a bug under the heel of greed, power and money. It shouldn't be. We should have been in crisis mode a long time ago, and things should have changed.

I'm very flippant about it. Like, blah whatever, I would rather have the Monday off instead of the stat holiday, blah blah blah, I'm compliant. What can I do though? Should I show up at work Canada Day and march around the parking lot by myself with a sign that has a crossed out sheep inside of a red circle instead of going into work? Yell obscenities and things about weak compliance, f'n sheeple!, at all my coworkers while they go in the door?

Then what? I envision an outcome of eye rolls, wtf's, face palms, and laughter, and the only thing changing would be me old and exhausted, jobless, with no income at all, instead of being a tired old underpaid over worked worker.

We should keep in mind that for several years now Province of Ontario has been governed by majority conservative with a leader who doesn’t think that any of ‘us’ deserve to have any rights at all. You know, ‘us’, the ones doing the work and then giving nearly every cent of our insufficient incomes back to corporations who are simultaneously overcharging, underpaying and exploiting us.

The very first thing he did on day one after he was elected was to make sure we no longer had two paid sick days per year. He scrapped that, and celebrated doing it. You could almost hear the buttons popping off of the shirts covering overstuffed bellies of corporate executives and business owners while they laughed and laughed. They patted him on the back while professing their undying love.

I don't know. Maybe that is not the reason my employer can make us work a stat holiday. Maybe they always could (likely), but still I wonder. Maybe he did sneak an obscure item into some other shady bill that says, of course you can make them work on a stat holiday. Just simply tell them that they have to, and tell them which day they can have instead. Same way he took away our sick days, and how he changed the amount of break time employers are required to give their workers.

He likely has his own custom made toilet paper with the Employment Standards Act printed on it. It would be made from Green Belt trees secretly cut down in the middle of the night.

More recently there were headlines about how they wanted to eliminate rent control for all landlords, instead of just for owners of properties built after 2018. I heard he has a lot of friends who are parasitic landlords. They all got erections thinking about how high they would be able to raise rent. If the sky became the limit they would raise it to the moon! Yeehahh!

It was very quickly taken off the table. Back to flaccid. Aw, poor them. I don’t imagine the conservatives suddenly started caring about tenant rights. It was more likely from how many people freaked out about it as soon as the news broke. They would have lost voters.

He likely sent out a text to all his parasitic landlord buddies, 'sorry boys, you can't triple the rent next year or I might be out of a job. People got mad at me. I don't know why. Like wtf, who doesn't want to pay triple the rent so y'all can get richer than you already are? Sheesh! :('

How would we know anything about a text like that though, right? He spends millions of our tax dollars making sure all his communications are kept private.

Losing voters might also be the reason that he went into hiding when truck drivers were occupying the streets of Ottawa so they could whine about science, wearing masks, and getting needles. The majority of the participants there were likely his supporters, and he wouldn't want to alienate them by sending in forces with riot gear, tear gas, rubber bullets, and water canons like he should have. So he just took a vacation. Or maybe more accurately, he took another vacation.

That's what the data centers are for though, right?

Ah, fuck it, who needs water anyway?

sigh

Every once in awhile the internet coughs up something weird into my feed that lures me in. Some days ago while I was having lunch at work I was scrolling absentmindedly, looking at headlines and pictures while I ate. I saw a headline about giant penguins that existed on earth millions of years ago. I took the bait, and clicked.

It was a pretty random, mildly interesting read about the fossilized remains of giant penguins that were the size of humans. They were discovered in New Zealand. I don't recall facts, like who discovered them, where, and when. I know they had an official scientific name that I don't recall. I've never been great at retaining facts unless it is something I require in my life. But I read it, and later on found myself thinking about it.

I found myself wondering... is it beyond the realm of possibility, that if the earth could produce a human sized penguin, maybe it could produce a new version of us, only tiny? Like millions, or even hundreds of millions of years after we inevitably end ourselves. Maybe a million years after we are gone the planet gets pummeled by a cluster of asteroids and ends up a massive spherical smoldering ember that eventually cools and starts the process that leads to forming life again. I don’t really know if there is time enough for all that to happen before our sun starts transitioning into a red giant. Maybe the new version of earth will have 2 moons, or rings of diamond and gold dust or something. wtf

I thought of us, and everything that we have created, scaled down. Everything else in nature the same size it is now. Just us as tiny. Like the tallest of us the height of a cat or smaller. And then those tiny versions of us figure shit out similarly to the way we have now with industry, technology and transportation. A weird little miniature village version of us. Only not a village. A miniature humanity version of the us that exists now. Upright walking, conscious thinking, self aware, opposable thumbed, language speaking, rodent sized society building shit.

Then maybe the earth will belch up fossilized remains of the us of now for those fictional future miniature versions of us to find. Skeletons that miraculously survived the asteroid pummeling. They would be horrified and fascinated at the same time. Like we are with dinosaurs. I would hope that there would not be enough evidence to tell the tale of who we were. Maybe they will imagine good things about us if there was no evidence remaining of how terrible we were to each other and to the planet.

I guess I'm making an assumption that their tiny size might somehow make them successful at all the things we are failing at. Like they will imagine good things about us because they are good. I think they would be though. Everything would be a threat. Being so tiny, their priorities would be vastly different from ours. Survival would be top priority instead of the economy. The thought of the way we exist now (if you don't have money you don't get to have anything) would be baffling to them.

They would take up less land, and use up a fraction of natural resources. It will require a pummeling of asteroids and a restart of the process after we existed here and fucked it all up. Land and natural resources would all be unlimited to them, not things to squabble over. They would be too distracted by the constant threat of everything else on the planet to think about attacking each other. Travel to other continents might be like space travel. Globalization might never happen.

They would not be a destructive infestation on the surface of the planet endlessly slaughtering each other and stupidly bringing about their own end like we are now. Or maybe all of that is an inevitability no matter what version of us manifests.

He doesn't care about the people in his own country... oh, sorry, I meant to say he “doesn't think about them at all.” He also loves inflation. Maybe both of those things were the dementia speaking, and not just because he's a monster with a job he should have never been given. Why would he care about the people and economies in Canada and Mexico if he doesn't even care about his own?

Was thinking about when I was young, and I had just dropped out of high school. I started my first job, and was there doing that job for a year or so. I needed a car, so I went to the bank. They gave me a loan, and then I started paying them back.

When I was about a year from paying off the money they had loaned to me, the car was wearing out. I most likely could have had repairs done, maintained it properly, and could have drove it for possibly several more years. I was bored with it though. I succumbed to temptation and desire instead of taking better care of my financial future.

I borrowed more money. Enough to pay off what was left on the first loan, and to get another car. I kept on repeating this cycle over and over, for years, until the monthly payment of my loan was on the brink of being impossible for me to pay. I was young, inexperienced, had no guidance, was not thinking about the future much, and I wanted new cars. I do take most of the blame.

Something to think about though is how the bank knew the position I was putting myself in financially. They could see the numbers, and they could see me sitting across the desk from them.

Each time I showed up at the bank for my next loan, they filled out the paperwork. Larger amounts borrowed each time, over and over. Ended with a smile and a handshake. No advice. No questions asked. Never denied. They knew I was committing a very large portion of my income to the monthly payments to them. They also knew that I was young and stupid. They knew how fucked I would be if anything went wrong in my life. I do shoulder nearly all of the responsibility for that financial hole I jumped into, but they were definitely an active participant by letting me do it to myself.

What the hell is the point?

Oh yes, the old moron, and how he slurs and blathers like we have been sneaking in the back door in the middle of the night and stealing billions from the US of A, for years, and the regime just now caught us. It is such shit. Both countries have been actively participating in the game. Similar to the story of me and the bank loans. It was in no way a matter of us taking advantage of them any more than it was me taking advantage of the bank so I could have new cars. The bank was also not taking advantage of me. It was a mutual agreement. They were helping me fuck myself over financially.

He puts on the shit show like it was us doing a bad thing to them when it was international deals made by leaders and decision makers on both sides of the border. Good? Bad? Fair? Unfair? Right? Wrong? It was what it was all along by decisions, deals and agreements.

I guess this is how fascism works. Create the perception that we are the enemy stealing from them. Give his regime, minions and supporters something to fucking jerk off to. It has to be him and his incompetent thugs pawning off propaganda as truth. The only alternative would be that they really are THAT stupid. So stupid that they actually believe it.

On he goes about how grateful Canadians should be. Am I grateful? I don't know. Yes and no. Yes, I am grateful to be Canadian. No, I don't live my life with constant inner thoughts and feelings that everything I now have is because they were generous enough to let me have it. I'm just living my life here in a system governed by decision makers.

Perhaps our country never should have become so involved with them just in case a self serving idiot like him ever took charge. Hindsight, right. But what's done is done. We can't just erase the past. I suppose fascist dictators aren't known for their diplomacy or for making deals with their neighbours. Add in aging and dementia. Surround him with bootlicker podcasters. Let’s make a deal.

There are opinions about how our rockstar PM has stolen the majority government (that he now has) by manipulating those MP's into joining his side. It's so ridiculous. No matter what propaganda they try to shove down our throats next, I will never believe it. Like what crap are they going to come up with next? How he used hypnosis, bribery, threats, torture, witchcraft, or maybe that he gave them all foot massages while his wife fed them grapes, or what? Stolen illegitimate majority, they say. Sure. Grow up. Welcome to politics.

The ones who crossed the floor are all educated, grown adults in government positions, making their own political career decisions. They made the decision to cross the floor all on their own. We see the outcome, but not the process, and we can only speculate about the reasons that brought them to make that final personal decision. They could have changed their minds and backed out up to a certain point in time when there would be no turning back. I don't imagine the journey to that point of no return was an easy one. They got there. They followed through.

The reasons for it happening are sort of irrelevant. I can’t help thinking that if they were satisfied with their original party they wouldn’t have even considered switching. It happened. Now we wait and see. Now the leadership is driving the bus. A majority opposition had the option to grab the steering wheel and throw them off course. A minority opposition is more like an unruly teenager near the back of the bus causing a distraction.

Less of a threat, and more of an annoyance than anything. Are we there yet? Why aren't we there yet? Hurry up. You're going the wrong way. Why aren't we there yet? Are we there yet? What are you doing? We're going to crash. Where are you taking us? Why are we not there yet? This is stupid. What are you doing? Where are we? This is the wrong road. That was the wrong turn. Why aren't we there yet? Are we there yet? And they haven't even left the driveway. The job of the opposition is to convince the other passengers that we all need to assume and fear that the driver is inevitably going to fail and run us off a cliff.

That is a simplistic spin on a complicated matter. I guess I'm just a passenger hoping the driver is going to get us where we want to be. The right would say that it is foolish to have a little faith that just maybe the leader and his government might know what they are doing.

I think this is a very volatile time in the world of politics, not just here, but everywhere, and I don't think it is constructive to assume or fear anything, or to expect instantaneous results.

At the bus terminal I was walking on the platform. There was a woman in front of me, and in front of her there was a guy. The three of us were about ten feet apart walking at the same pace. Suddenly the guy laid down on the platform. Didn't fall or anything. Just gently laid down on his side like a person would at home on the carpet. Like to play with the cat or something. When the woman got near him she stopped, and sort of leaned over him. Right when I got near both of them she said, “are you okay?” He looked up at her, and said, “no,” and then very suddenly he changed his response to, “uh, yes!” Then he got up and continued walking. It was very odd. He might have been high. I do not know. We all continued on.

At the bus terminal I was standing on the platform waiting for my bus to arrive. It was a hot and sunny summer day with a nice breeze. A woman with a light dress was walking towards me. The wind caught her dress and it blew up. Not just a flash of upper leg or anything. Like right up. If she had raised her arms at that exact moment the dress might have blown right off, and away like a balloon. She was not wearing anything under it. She was right in my line of sight. Suddenly right in front of me, naked woman for a second or two. I was standing there, and then I continued to just stand there when she walked by me. Neither of us reacted at all to the occurrence. What could we say or do though really? Any reaction I could have had would have been inappropriate. Laugh? Nope. Nod? Nope. Thanks? Nope. OMG? Nope. Yes! High five! Nope. No response was the only option. And what reaction could she have had really? There is just nothing. She couldn't blame me for the wind and scratch my eyes out. She didn't have to apologize.

It was like, oh,

that just happened.

Majority Of Canadians Think The Economy Is On The Wrong Track.

From the perspective of a long term blue collar Canadian worker; I wouldn't say that I believe the economy is on the wrong track. I also wouldn't say that I believe it is on the right track. What I would say, and believe, is that it is on the same track it has been on since long before I was even born.

Most of the wealth is funneled into the pockets of the ultra wealthy minority of the worldwide population. The majority of the population who do all the work, and keep buying all the things that keep the gears of the economy turning, are in a state of constant financial uncertainty. If you can't do work and buy things you get tossed out of society like a piece of garbage. These things keep getting worse as years pass by.

I feel like if my wages had kept up with inflation over the last few decades I would be earning, at the very least, double what I earn today. The cost of everything has been constantly going up since I started working over three decades ago. Blue collar wages have gone up, but compared to the cost of everything, they have barely gone up at all.

I'm no economist, but I can read, and it doesn't take too much reading to find things out about the disgusting wealth inequality between the high income earners and the rest of us, and about how much that gap is growing. If anyone ever finds a way to fix that long term ongoing abomination, that is causing most of the suffering in the world; then I might start to believe that the economy is on the right track.

The right blames the left, and the left blames the right. Then after all is said and done, more is said than done. Then in the end no one seems to care, and nothing changes. No one ever wants to put the blame where it belongs. Business as usual. The ultra wealthy wallow in their self serving delusions taking taking taking, governments serve the ultra wealthy, and the rest of us do all the work and don’t get much for it.

They put the hardware in our faces nearly every second we are awake and then install the software that turns the majority into victims of force fed lies, distractions and manipulation.