I acknowledged with a half wave, got up and followed her through a doorway, then down a corridor. She stood outside of a brightly lit small room, and motioned for me to enter first. She followed me in and closed the door.

Wall shelves with supplies. A poster about the importance of heart health. Standard examination table with a step beside it on the floor. Two office chairs. An EKG monitor on a small wheeled stand. A computer in the corner.

She instructed me to hang up my coat, and that I could leave my backpack in one of the chairs, and to take off my shirt. I did those things behind her while she was at the computer typing and clicking things on the screen.

I stood there behind her while she did the things at the computer. It wasn't a very long time. Like 20 or 30 seconds. It was (apparently) long enough for me to have the thought, did she really tell me to take off my shirt? I had an urge to ask her, “did you really want me to take off my shirt?” It seemed like too weird of a question, so I didn’t ask it.

The entire scene repeated in my mind. From the moment of me walking in the room until me just standing there behind her. Shirtless. In the new imagined version she only told me to hang up my jacket and put my backpack in the chair. Maybe I misunderstood what she said next, and it only sounded like, “take off your shirt”. Or she didn't even say anything remotely like that at all. I imagined that I had just walked in, took off my jacket, put my backpack in the chair, and then I took off my shirt for no reason. I was suddenly afraid of what would happen when she turned around.

Like, dude, wtf, why is your shirt off? Face palm. Or she would run from the room vomit exploding spontaneously into her mask and all over her arm when she tried to get the mask off in time. Or start laughing until she cried. Maybe a couple security guys would mysteriously show up and wrestle me to the floor while she stood there slowly shaking her head with her arms crossed.

She turned around. Nothing weird happened.

After a series of questions and an EKG test, I met with the cardiologist. He said everything is fine.

How is vaporizing innocent human beings, and setting the sky on fire going to solve anything? Why is this an option? Maybe it is time that we grow up as a (so called intelligent) species and collectively decide that no country in the world should have any nuclear weapons. Maybe it is time for the leaders of the world to start acting like real leaders and agree to disarm and scrap their entire nuclear arsenals. If anyone has a problem with the plan, then maybe they should all pack their shit, and board the next shuttle to go live on one of the other planets that is suitable for human life. Oh, wait! That is right! This is the only planet we have. You would think that we would have sorted our differences out by now.

We could also stop giving all the power to stupid greedy psychopaths who have no desire to choose diplomacy over bullying, threats, greed, isolation, violence and wealth hoarding. The ones who don't want to accept that there is no turning back from globalization. The ones who have no desire at all to meet anyone half way on anything. To them it is always my way all the way, all the time, or go fuck yourself. They seem to exist solely to support a system that is failing to provide the basic necessities of life for far too many, and leaves too many on the edge. All so that they, and a few of their rich buddies can have more than everyone else.

They are like toddler siblings in the backseat of mom and dad's car fighting over nonsensical things. Difference being that little kids don't just kill each other. Mom yells at them from the front seat. Then they sort it out and find a way to coexist. Toddlers have a better understanding of using diplomacy than the leaders of the “most powerful” nations.

In my experience I find that consistency is the most important thing with all fitness activities. It's sort of like learning a new skill. You have to keep at it to let it develop and become part of your life. It isn't just about the physical activity or eating better (although those things are very important). There is also the mental side that is just as important as doing the things. You have to get your mind used to finding the time to make it part of your life.

With all fitness things it is good to start off slow and easy. It isn't terribly important how much you do at first, as long as it keeps repeating. Plan it, commit to doing it, do it. It gives you an idea of how much you can handle, and gets your mind used to doing it.

If it's too easy, add a little more to the next until it is harder. If it is too much, don't push too hard. Always try not to do too much too soon. Injury is very discouraging. Find the balance between too easy and too much. Be committed to your routine, but at the same time also don't be too rigid about it. A missed day is history when the next day begins. Forget about it and move on. Never stop educating yourself about fitness, and never be afraid to try new things. Let the routine evolve as you learn more through education and experience.

If you keep at it, and keep adding a little more, you will inevitably start to feel better. I would never say that it is easy, but it does get easier, and more enjoyable.

There will be times when it seems that all the effort is for nothing. Especially in the beginning. You have to get your mind around not seeing or feeling the results from your efforts for a time. I read a term awhile ago that stuck with me. It was: Have Faith In The Process. Don't get discouraged by the lack of results in the beginning.

I find it very useful to track everything you do. It doesn't need to be complicated. It can be a tracker on your wrist, an app, or a notebook and a pen. Even if you are only recording time, date, what you did, and how much you did. It is important to have something to look back on and say, wow, I remember when THAT was all I could manage. The only person you should ever compare yourself to or compete with is your past self.

Hardy har, the department of kidnapping, murder and lies. While hundreds of millions of people could barely afford food, they were spending over twenty million dollars on steak and lobster, some of which they were no doubt stuffing into their own stupid filthy lying pie-holes. I envision it being their primary diet. Over twenty million spent just in the month of September. I don't imagine the portions that were sent to the troops were top quality like they had for themselves. It is disgusting on so many levels.

The dining room where they gathered for the feast glowed a dim strange yellow, like being trapped in a stain, from dusty chandeliers reflecting off of all the unnecessary gaudy fake gold ornamentation. It is impossible to describe a spectacle like it without using too many adjectives. The drunkard, seated to the right hand of the old man, stopped using a fork a long time ago. His shiny oily fingers dunked a piece of lobster into a bowl of melted butter while he slurred, “can I, can I have a war, can I please, oh glorious leader”.

Perhaps they have descended far below and beyond being a regime, and are now a kind of new political thing that does not yet have a name? A gang of idiotic unqualified goons in positions of power who lack the knowledge to maintain anything. Pouring every ounce of time, energy, and hundreds of billions of dollars into maintaining appearances, and doing it very poorly.

Is it even politics anymore when it feels like a lawless dystopian game? If they don't murder every human on the planet, their lame attempt to govern will be studied for decades. I mean, if humans have a future, and if study and learning ever become 'a thing' people do again.

The old man at the head of the table, who appeared to be dozing, but was paying attention, says, “of course you can have your war, sweety. We don't even need permission.” A look on his face like he needed to fart, but decided that it wasn't worth the risk. His shaking discoloured hands opened the lid of a fast food box that was on a silver platter on the table just beyond his bulging belly. He expertly gripped the burger inside, then raised it to his gaping stinking dumpster of a lying mouth hole, and shoved nearly half of it in. When he bit down, a gob of the pale pinkish orange sauce with bits of onion and lettuce in it squished out near his thumb, and sort of slid and rolled down, and then fell from his sagging chin. While chewing, he looked and sounded as though he might suffocate from having to breathe through his nose for a few seconds. While chewing and swallowing he stared at the uneaten portion of burger in his hands. He considered another bite, then decided not. As he placed it back in its box he appeared momentarily confused that there were two burgers in boxes already on the silver platter. And then there were three. Each burger had one bite gone. One had a fly darting around between the sesame seeds on the top bun. He couldn't remember biting the two other burgers, who brought them, or when. Then tiredness. His eyes drooped closed and his head nodded forward.

I guess murder is legal if you use bombs and call it war? The murders they commit are like what they say about cockroaches I'm sure. Similar in a way that if we see the resulting deaths from a few bombs, then there are sure to be thousands that we don't see.

The dining room was too hot, and smelled like cold congealed grease on meat, carnivorous body odor mixed with fading cologne, and gas being excreted from both ends of those seated at the table. Most of them were drunk on expensive bourbon and didn't notice the smell. Someone lit a cigar to try and mask it. It only added to the grotesquery. The ones not drunk on liquor were drunk on power. Some couldn't remember their job titles, or who resigned or got fired before they were handed the job. They found it funny to be part of something that they used to make podcasts and news about. All of them lacked the intelligence and introspection to view themselves as taking part in the creation of lies instead of merely propagandizing about them.

The old man abruptly woke from dozing. It startled those seated close to him when he loudly started blathering on about how the new leaders (who are replacing the ones he illegally eliminated) need to be peaceful and democratic. None of them realized, let alone acknowledged, that peace and democracy are being destroyed in the country they are supposedly leading. The power and the money, amen.

I also used to think that common sense applied to vaccines. Turns out though that we live in a country where a lot of people believed what a bunch of truck drivers had to say about vaccines, over following the advice of people who dedicate their entire lives to science and medicine. Now measles has made a comeback. Should be interesting to see if their opinion about vaccines changes back when things like rubella or polio start to make a comeback like measles has. Measles can escalate for some people and kill them, but I think that most people fully recover. Rubella and polio are diseases that last a lifetime. They are highly contagious, and are preventable with vaccines that people are now refusing in the same way that they are refusing to do the census. Probably the same people. I guess the big difference would be that if they refuse the census they will have angrier letters arriving in their mailbox until eventually someone in a uniform will knock on their door. If they keep refusing at that point they will get fined $500. Refusing vaccines will cause a lifetime of illness and suffering for their babies.